Never

I never wanted to fall
In love with
you.

I never wanted
it to happen that
way, never meant to
let the news of your
existence spill across
my being, never meant to
let my heart thump
against my ribs when
you smiled like that
from across the
coffee table. I never
meant to let you
sew the strings of
my heart to yours, never
meant to delve into
the depth of your eyes
when they twinkled with
anticipated mischief, never
meant to look at you
so bemused, like you were
a piece of art only I was
capable of looking at, and that
if I didn’t look hard enough,
I’d never figure it
out. I never meant to try
and fix you, mend
your cracks, because even
though I wanted to be
your Wonder Woman,
you never wanted
to be fixed. I never meant to
lock you in poetry scribbled
across cheap paper, or in
the ink that died on my fingertips,
or in a secret room
in the back of my mind.
I never meant to let
you light a fire in my
loins, never meant
to count on my
fingers the number of
freckles on your face that I
could kiss, never meant to
press my fingers in your back
like wet paint, when you leaned
forward to kiss me. I
never meant to frame that fleeting
moment in the walls of my
heart because since then,
every kiss has just
been a shadow of
that one.

But I did.
I never wanted to punish
myself for it,
but just like all the other things,
I couldn’t stop that from
happening either.

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3 comments

  1. rainingrabbits · March 24, 2016

    Reblogged this on rainingrabbits.

    Like

  2. annie · March 25, 2016

    Reblogged this on hopehaswingswithfeathers and commented:
    Great poem!
    *snap*snap*snap*

    Like

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